LifePundit

An Excellent Adventure

I've got a cold and I'm waiting for the tranquilizer I gave the cat, Tiger, to take effect so that I can take him to the vet. Tiger was diagnosed with diabetes last week and I've been giving him insulin shots twice a day, which has been easier than I've expected. But today Tiger needs to have his blood drawn, and if I take him to the vet unmedicated, the only blood drawn will belong to the vet. Tiger has a massive personality change just by entering the vet clinic.

When my niece (who is a vet) used to give him his shots here at our house, he wouldn't bother to get up and would purr the whole time. Take him to the vet and they have to put him in a gas chamber. He has a big orange sticker on his file and you can hear him screaming from miles away even though nobody has touched him. He's so awful that it's funny. Unless it's your hide he peels off.

So, since my life is not worth telling about right now, you need to go visit my friend Joe's new blog, An Excellent Adventure. Joe is a retired FBI agent living as the "trailing spouse" while his wife, Melanie, works for the State Department in Tajikistan. They've chosen an interesting path through life, but I mainly think they're trying to get far enough away so we won't come visit.

I'd tell you all about Joe's adventures in the FBI, all the places they've lived and the interesting things that they've done, but then he'd have to kill me.

Go visit Joe and tell him I sent you.

My Computer is Dead; Long Live My Computer

After coaxing, cajoling, cursing and doing other things that don't start with a "c," I've had to face facts: My computer is dead. A humming, error-announcing corpse, it can't even fetch my e-mail though it did try. For hours and hours. I loved my computer, an HP Pavilion I purchased with no input from my computer professional husband. Yes, if he turns his back, I'll make a decision on my own. And a darn fine one that decision was, too. For five years, my HP Pavilion did everything I asked beautifully. That's because it wasn't Windows 98 or Vista. It was XP. Long live XP.

And while it was dying I was fondling the Macs at Best Buy, suggesting which one would be great for Christmas, etc., when Paul decided that what I really needed most of all was his old Compaq XP laptop. Actually, he brought two defunct other ones home before this one. It seems he has an endless supply of half-dead laptops. None of them Macs, though Vista is pushing him to that. Finally, he brought home one that I liked. It had to go to the shop for a new hard drive, which is great because now it doesn't have any of his junk on it. It is mine, all mine, it is faster than my old computer and has more bells and whistles. And since it's a laptop, I can go to Starbucks and write the Great American Novel. Or at least pretend to.

Until then, I'm trying to load it up with all my stuff. Now I see why it would have been a good thing to keep all the CDs that came with my peripherals in one place. Ah me.

My computer is dead. Long live my (new old) computer.

Blogging is Too Much Fun to be Permissable Procrastination Tool

Nancy, you missed me! Thank you!

I haven't been blogging for three reasons:

1. I didn't have anything nice to say, and so I didn't say anything;

2. When I wasn't whining about how nothing works in this house, I was out having fun with friends (yes, I have one or two left) or inside getting really mad at technology and putting more duct tape on my computer (figuratively speaking) because I'm not about to get a new one as long as they all come with Vista;

3. I've had a chance to "audition" to be a speech writer for a person (non-politician) for whom I'd very much like to be a speech writer. I'd like to say that I've been working non-stop to land this great gig, but I've mainly been stressing over it, losing sleep and doing acceptable procrastination activities, such as cleaning my office, doing laundry, exercising and hauling lightning-damaged electrical equipment to the dump. I also took two carloads of stuff to the church garage sale (proceeds go to Habitat). I didn't allow myself to blog because blogging is fun and nothing fun is allowed while procrastinating.

Approved procrastination activities are the things you should do every day or every week, but save them up until you have a project.

If my house is clean, my laundry is sparklingly done and my blown TVs are in the dump, you know I am procrastinating heavily.

There are others "auditioning" for the speech writer job. I sent my speech in yesterday and am not sure how I feel about it. I don't know the man, have never met him, and have only seen short clips of him on the Internet. I don't know his message or his style or what he wanted to say to this particular audience. I don't know the history or future plans of the institution he heads, though I am impressed by it. I suspect my style is too conversational and not eloquent and dignified enough, but who knows. Maybe he'll like it. I have him being humorous in several places in the speech I wrote for him, which is something entirely missing from everything else I've seen or read that he's done. He's more a "thousand points of light" kind of guy than a "did you hear the one about ....." fellow.

Still, all audiences like a little levity, and I don't think he's anti-humor. Or maybe I'm just not all that funny. Or maybe I am funny and he's not. Or maybe he'll love me because he'll love the adoration of awake, laughing audiences. Assuming he gives the speech a try and doesn't use one of my competitor's more grandiose ones that start off with stupid, convoluted structures like "Four-score and seven...." Who'd hang around and listen to that? Nothing memorable there.

Anyway, in theory, I would love this steady work and love to write speeches (especially since I don't have to give them, in case the jokes fail). But, if he doesn't feel like my style works for him, it probably wouldn't be a good fit anyway.

In the meantime, you won't believe how clean my house is.

Lightning Strikes Twice! Maybe More.

Don't stand too close to me. We've bit hit by lightning the past two weekends.

The first time we were struck by lightning last week wasn't too bad -- just hit the modem. However, that kept me off the Internet for a few days while I waited for it to be fixed.

Then, on the Fourth of July, we had some serious fireworks -- major lightning storm. It hit the streetside cable box which serves us and several neighbors and it hit the phone/tv/Internet connection on the side of the house. Zowey! You should have heard it. You KNEW something was fried.  And because so many people's connections were hit by lightning and we had to wait in line, we didn't get fixed until this afternoon.

A friend of mine said I need to stop sinning so I'll no longer be a lightning magnet. All I know is that I'm staying out of the shower (or outdoors) in the next storm.

Hope to be visiting my friends and posting soon!

I Have Also Given Up Verbing for Lent

One of the reasons I've succeeded in advertising and PR is because, as I was once praised, I can "write like people talk."

That's not always a good thing. Just listen to those around you. At least I don't say, "Dude!"

Just for my friend Anwyn, I'm giving up verbing for Lent.

Or at least giving it up any place where she can see me.  (She's got a good rant going about postal workers hurling packages in plain view.)

Preview: The Clock Stops Here

I have lost my mind. Here's a new blog I'm working on. Still a work in progress, sort of like this one.

It's a blog for vain middle-aged women who claim they aren't vain and don't want to talk about menopause, hot flashes, trophy wives or Botox. At least not in public.

Truthfully, is there anything more to be said about those subjects?

Visit. Comment. Critique. Have at it.

The Clock Stops Here

Major Accomplishment -- I Think

Do I have spinach in my teeth, blogically speaking? Does this page look all right to you?

I think it just might -- and that I finally finally finally got my domain name, www.lifepundit.net, set up to where it is actually connected with my lifepundit blog. (A process I have been working on since September.)

Of course, I could always be wrong. Please tell me if my formatting has gone kablooey.

I promise to only kill myself once.

Busy Day

I've been busy today making a mess of things and also writing way too many posts. Here's a quick list and a summary so you can just read the ones of interest, which are probably just the first two on the list:

• How to Save Money with Cereal AND Decorate Your Home
  I bought cereal in bulk and had to get creative on ways to store it
• We Are Now Out of Hamsters (RIP)
  Our last hamster died today; several hamster obituaries, including info. on how to euthanize a hamster with cancer for cheap, in case you needed to know
• There's Always a Way Around the Rules
  A paid post about beating the driving system in the UK, but really a story about my father's disregard for the rules, more or less
• Trazodone is Not My Friend
  Don't bother to read this one about a sleeping pill I took last night that gave me terrible insomnia
• More Thoughts on Subliminal Messages
  A paid post I wrote for Smellshorsey and then couldn't use because I haven't signed Smellshorsey up for paid posts so I stuck it here;
• Help My Friend Groovy Win a Mixer
  My blogging buddy Groovy is always so nice and has never asked for anything before, so here I try to help her win a mixer. I'm not entirely sure how.

Help My Friend Groovy Win a Mixer -- or Win It Yourself

I don't fully understand blog give-aways, but maybe instead of having a garage sale I'll do that next time. Give away my stuff to my blogging friends because I'm sure that my mother-in-law's old china would look great in your house....

Anyway, Groovy's a blogging buddy and she's never asked for anything before, so click here and navigate through her site to enter the contest.

Don't click this badge because I don't need a mixer. Click the one on Groovy's site.

Does This Site Look Strange to You?

LifePundit looks fine on my computer and looks fine to the guy at Go Daddy, who was very nice and assured me it wasn't Go Daddy's fault so now I need to contact TypePad again. Does this site look strange to you? It does to Lori and Angry, who were nice enough to report it.

Kind of like having spinach in your teeth, technically speaking. Your friends will tell you and all that.