I've got one project to finish this morning then I'm going to visit my parents since I'll be at a meeting downtown later this morning and it won't be too far to go. I got my father to agree to stay home today so that I can see him. I think it was a big sacrifice for him to stay in assisted living rather than go to the garden, but also possibly a relief because he doesn't have to push himself beyond what it takes to make himself sit still, which is probably a big push.
One day he called Non-Saintly Brother and said, "Send somebody up here to get me. Nothing up here but a bunch of old people dying."
So as I get ready to go visit him and Mama, I've been thinking about what I should take them. Valentine's ought to make that easy, but my father can't taste so nothing tastes right (great -- I'm taking him out to lunch) and my mother's eating has gotten so iffy that I'm afraid she'll choke on candy. I guess I'll get flowers, though every time I take them to my father he oohs and aaahs and says nobody likes flowers more than him, then a day later he'll feel guilty for having all that goodness to himself and will put them on the receptionist's desk. Which is okay, too. Sometimes Mama notices flowers. Sometimes not.
Last year at Valentine's my mother was in the Alzheimer's unit and I took her candy in a heart-shaped box, which she didn't care for at the time. When you go visit the Alzheimer's unit, the most important thing you need to bring is your sense of humor. There was an extremely active resident, whom I'll called the Escapist Lady, who was always dressed up and looked like she was just a visitor. She even carried her pocketbook. She frequently slipped out, so they had to put a bracelet on her that would sound whenever she got near the door. Part of the reason she escaped was that she would persuade other visitors that she was just visiting somebody and needed to get outside for her son to pick her up. So they'd let her out.
I had to be careful when I visited Mama that I didn't give the Escapist Lady too much attention and upset Mama. The Escapist was very friendly once intercepted me before I could get to Mama. She gave me a big hug and friendly greeting, and Mama was jealous that I hugged the Escapist before hugging Mama and things went downhill from there.
Anyway. Back to last year's Valentine's candy. Mama didn't have a taste for chocolates that day, so I took the unopened heart-shaped box and put it in drawer in Mama's room. I saw the Escapist, who has a ferocious sweet tooth, watching me. (We usually share what we've brought Mama -- with the permission of the attendants so we don't accidentally give a diabetic something they shouldn't have -- in fact, my father used to bring diabetic treats from time to time, so I know who has sweet tooths and Escapist Lady is insatiable -- and absolutely skinny from constantly pacing.) I noticed the Escapist going into Mama's room and I wondered about it. After Mama and I had finished our visit (she wasn't doing great that day), I took a look in her room. Yes, the Escapist Lady had been there. She'd removed the plastic wrap from the heart-shaped candy box and thrown it in the trashcan. And inside, there was nothing but brown candy wrappers -- she'd eaten every one. Then she put the box back in the drawer.
Oh well. At least somebody enjoyed them.
I just hope I can get my father to and from the restaurant today without him falling over. He won't let me help him and sways in all directions. He's supposed to be in a wheelchair but at least uses a walker. The oxygen tank is another challenge. I hover, and that makes him mad because he says I'm not strong enough to catch him, I get in his way and that he'll squash me if he falls. Better that than him hitting the floor. He no longer weighs enough to do much squashing, though he's certainly capable of making a big fuss.

