LifePundit

Don't You Want to Pull Over and Pick Up That Dead Fox?

I wasn't going to say anything. But today's news on Fox News that a man named Fox pulled over to pick up a "dead" fox he hit with his SUV and then was nearly killed by the dead fox proved too much for me. First, the story from Fox about Fox and the fox:

A man who decided to take home a fox he hit on the road wrecked his SUV after the animal he thought was dead revived.

   

Tommy Fox ran over the fox last Wednesday near Dover, Tenn., as he returned home from work, the Leaf Chronicle reports.

 

Thinking the animal was dead, he decided to take the animal home to cut off its tail as a souvenir, Dale Grandstaff of the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency told the paper.

 

"The tails are real bushy and pretty and thick this time of year," Grandstaff said.

 

Instead, the driver flipped his GMC Jimmy trying to keep the fox — that had awoken in the backseat — from biting him, Grandstaff told the paper.

 

Fox suffered minor injuries and bruises, the Leaf Chronicle reports. The fox died, though it was unclear if it was from initial injuries or the subsequent wreck of the vehicle.

Now here's what I wasn't going to blog about. About a week ago I was sorry to see a dead fox on the side of the road about three miles from my house. A few days later I was surprised to see that the corpse was missing its tail. Next the head disappeared.

Who takes home parts of road kill as trophies? And how can we get them interested in possums?

Overheard at the Vet's

Tiger isn't eating. This is very bad news and quite uncharacteristic. So we took him to the vet.

Not sure what's wrong with him, but his white blood cell count is up. Now he's on antibiotics and appetite stimulants and we're hoping it will all get better.

In the room next door was a cat who was an even worse patient than Tiger. This cat was screaming from his carrier. Lily and I got a great laugh when we heard the cat's owner say to the vet tech:

Don't take his temperature. This cat is 17 years old. He doesn't need to have anything stuck up his (rear end).

Amen.

Life, Death, Hemorrhoidal Cancer, Evolution, Sub-prime Mortgages, God's Will and Everything Else

Teddy Kennedy got brain cancer and P. J. O'Rourke got hemorrhoidal cancer, which I can't  even spell.

Very funny, touching and even theologically profound op-ed here.

I wish him well, and if he figures out the right color of bracelet he should be wearing, I'll wear one for him.

Hat tip: Instapundit

What Kind of Pants Would You Stab Someone For?

There's a strange local news story about a 36-year-old man who stabbed a teenager at a convenience store "over a pair of pants." The teenager is in the hospital and the grown man is in jail.

I think it should be illegal for a reporter to leave us hanging with a story like that. Read it yourself and see if you don't come away with the same question:

What kind of pants were they?

Where did the pants come from? Do they sell pants in convenience stores? What kind of pants are so desirable that you'd stab someone over them?

Is there a pants shortage? Are these pants that would make my butt look small? Can I stab somebody and get a pair?

I wrote the reporter asking for more info. on the pants. I explained to him that I need this information to try to make sense of the world.

I'll let you know if I find out.

Overheard in the Father's Day Card Section of Wal-Mart

I'm looking for a Father's Day card in Wal-Mart. There's a woman and her teenage daughter standing next to me doing the same thing. The daughter hands the mother a card. The mother looks at it.

"That card don't say nothing," the mother says.

"Well, he ain't nothing," says the daughter.

The mother makes her put it back. They leave without buying anything.

Vacation over for Florida Crocodile in S.C. Beach Waters

The vacationing crocodile went home today. You can read the story here.

Here's an excerpt:

The toothy reptile was snared near the Charleston County park pier after spending at least one winter in a Mount Pleasant pond.

It's headed for Gatorama, a 15-acre park of wetlands and hammocks that features daily alligator and crocodile shows, farm-raised alligator meat and boardwalk tours "teeming with alligators, crocodiles, monkeys, bobcats, panthers, birds and other Florida wildlife."

And here's my favorite part:

The transfer was approved by the Florida Wildlife Commission, which handles crocodiles, a tropical species recently downgraded from endangered to threatened. Its natural range is thought to reach only as far north as southern Florida. The commission decided not to release it in the wild for a number of reasons, including the fact that crocodiles will attack each other when they are strangers in the wild, said Steve Bennett, of S.C. Natural Resources.

A bigger reason might be that once a crocodilian roams, it tends to continue roaming. A 6-foot alligator was trapped in a pond near Beaufort and released on Bears Island in Bull's Bay more than 30 miles and five river basins away. It was caught again in its home pond 14 years later — as a 10-footer.

Crocodile Captured Swimming with Tourists at S.C. Beach

South Carolina has too many alligators (for the most amazing photo, click here). Now they're going to the beaches. That's right. Just when you thought it was safe to go in the water, a six-foot long crocodile turns up. Yes, right in the surf on S.C.'s Isle of Palms, a beach outside of Charleston. Hundreds of people were ordered out of the ocean.

This isn't even a local 'gator. It's a tourist 'gator. I've waterskied past native alligators in brackish water (and didn't dare let go of the ski rope), I've been afraid they might be under the bed when I was a kid but I have never, ever worried about an crocodile eating me in the ocean. That's the shark's job. And I thought alligators didn't "do" salt water.

But this one did. That's because it's a rare American Crocodile, native from the Florida Keys to Florida Bay. Officials are speculating that someone either released it illegally or it swam up from Florida. For the complete story, which is about as informative as this post, click here.

Right Now You Are a Diamond in the Rough

Right now you are a diamond in the rough. You're made out of carbon and some other stuff. Cremate you and put you under pressure, and you could be sparkling on some descendent's finger. Or you could fall in the commode and get flushed. What do you care? You're dead.

In diamond form, I might be worth more dead than alive. However, I do not want my relatives made into jewelry, nor do I want to become a quality-or-not gemstone.

When we took my father to the funeral home to plan the unthinkable (a weird experience for all), I saw a brochure for a company that will turn your loved one into a diamond. Okay, fine. Some people will do anything for jewelry.

I am so grossed out.

What if you lost Uncle Joe while cleaning the cat box? What if you had your mother-in-law made into a diamond? How could you wear such a thing? Why would you wear such a thing?

Here's a testimonial from the LifeGem website:

Hi Rusty! I wanted to let you know that 'Ma' has arrived here safe and sound! You were right.....she IS a beauty!! Today is her 1 year anniversary and it has given me an untold sense of peace to have her home and in such sparkely condition! I want to thank you and your company for allowing me to have  something so beautiful created in memory of my mother.

Andrea Izard (Daughter )

                                              

Cabo San Lucas: Ever Notice No One is in the Water?

Here's a picture of the famous arch in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. You've probably seen it before, along with other photos of the area's absolutely gorgeous beaches.

Looks like a great place to go for a tropical getaway, right? And indeed it is. But one thing that was a surprise to Paul (and no doubt to other people) when he got to go there on business is that it is illegal to go in the ocean. Yes, there was even an armed guard to keep the tourists out of the ocean. Terrible rip currents.

The things you don't know to ask. It's still beautiful. Just not quite what you might expect from an ocean resort.

Things We Don't Need: Kitty Tanning Bed

Does your cat like to sit in the sun? Then maybe you ought to buy a Kitty Tanning Bed. Because, you know, your cat needs a tan. Ever looked under the fur? Your cat may be fish-belly white. Heavens! Can't have that. Then again, just how would your cat get a tan unless you shaved it?

For a really funny story about this worse-than-useless product, go to Gizmodo here.