Two Snakes in One Day

(Photo not from my yard.) Please don't tell my friend and neighbor who's a reptile keeper, but I don't like snakes. They're just too -- snaky.

So I'm never happy when I find them in the yard. We usually see a couple each summer. Yesterday, I saw two. Two in one day. And one was big!

Chris is out hoping to spot a cobra in its natural habitat in the Philippines, and I'm here in S.C. trying not to spot anything except birds, deer and squirrels in their natural habitats, otherwise known as my yard and my natural habitat.

The first snake of the day was a long skinny black-looking snake in the horse stall. I assumed he was there for the mice or something else so I gave him a pass.

Now, a pass is all I have to give him. I am armed but not motivated. My father loved snakes and this was his technique: if he had an idea that a snake might not be poisonous, he would capture it by putting a hoe handle or some other implement behind its head, then pick it up by the back of the neck. Then he would take his pocketknife and open the snake's mouth to check for fangs. If it passed the fang test, he would hand it to one of us.

I liked snakes for a while in my childhood, until Non-Saintly Brother's king snake pooped on me. Yes, I have been pooped on by a snake. Not many people can say that. The snake was wrapped around my arm so I was unable to distance myself from the pooping once it began. I did quite a snake-shaking dance in an effort to wriggle away, but the snake held on tight. And kept pooping. I never wore those pants again. And I don't think I've played with a snake since.

Getting bitten is one thing. Getting pooped on will put you off snakes forever.

I don't think I even knew they pooped before that fateful moment. Be forewarned. Getting bitten is not the only hazard facing people who play with snakes.

One day my father was leaving the pond (where the garden is) when he saw a rattlesnake in the road. On HIS property. No poisonous snakes allowed. He didn't have his gun with him, so he drove his car over the snake, holding it with a wheel. This didn't kill the snake, so my father decapitated it with the claw-side of a claw-hammer. My mother sat in the car the whole time telling him not to do it out of fear for him. How does a man who lives like this end up living to a quite old age?

If I run into a rattlesnake and I have a car and a claw-hammer, here's what I'll do: Drive away.

We live in the country and we do have snakes. Tiger, the manly outdoor cat, is afraid of ropes and water hoses. He is extra careful with snake-like shapes. That is the only thing he is afraid of. I hear that cats who've tangled with snakes before are cautious like this. Maybe I should get him a claw-hammer.

Our next-door neighbor (not the reptile keeper) had not one but two rattlesnakes near his house when he moved in. Jerry heard the rattling as he was sitting on his screened porch, and looked outside to see the rattlesnake curled up by the steps and rattling away. He had just moved there, so he wasn't completely unpacked. He ran across the street to a neighbor's house -- a neighbor he'd never met -- and shouted, "Quick! I need a gun!"

The neighbor wouldn't lend him a gun but said that he would be glad to shoot whatever needed shooting. So he came over and shot the rattlesnake. A week later another rattlesnake appeared (they come in pairs) and that one met the same fate. Both are skinned and hanging on the neighbor's walls.

So, after my early morning sighting of the skinny black snake in the stall, I figured I was done with snakes for a month or two. Not so. Last night Parker, the cowardly dog, was barking furiously. I figured it was a possum. When I couldn't stand the noise any longer, I took my flashlight out with the intention of fussing at Parker for barking at a possum. But it wasn't a possum. It was a coiled, dark-patterned snake. It could be anything. A rattlesnake set to bite me. Another kind of snake set to poop on me. The snake wasn't long and skinny, but bulky, thick and substantial. There was a lot of snake in that pile of great big snake.

I congratulated Parker on his find and came back in to tell Paul there was a BIG snake in the yard. He's a Yankee, so he falls short in the "take charge of snakes" department. He said, "Did you kill it?"

"No."

"Did you do anything about it?"

"I'm telling you about it," I said. "What do you think I am, the Crocodile Hunter?"

"Well, go take care of it," he said. So like a dummy, I went back in the yard. No plan. No hammer. No gun. Just a flashlight.

And it was gone.

It's still out there. Somewhere. Happy Summer in the South!

My next husband will be a Good-Old-Boy well versed in how to identify and dispatch (if needed) venomous wildlife.

Here's some interesting information from a snake-loving web site (underlining is mine):

The Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake is a venomous snake that is fast disappearing from our landscape. This majestic and beautiful animal has become the victim of habitat destruction, roadkills, and indiscriminate assassination by unenlightened individuals.

Many fear the dreaded Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake To many, the only good snake is a dead snake. It is true that the diamondback is a venomous snake that can give a deadly bite. It delivers enough venom in one bite to kill six adult humans, but a snake will only bite for two reasons: fear and food

Comments

[gratis gewinn spiele]

I am afraid of snakes very much.

[Zephra]

I too grew up around snakes. The scary bad (and I am assuming) pooping kind. I was always scared. When we moved to Dallas, I saw a kid walking down the street with a garden snake in his hands. He let me hold him and I fell in love...with the garden snake kind only. My kids play with them all the time. I get sad when I see one dead. They are so sweet but I bet they would poop on ya if given the chance.

[Angry]

We have our share of venomous snakes and spiders here in Aus. Oh and the platypus of course. (nah... just kidding, although it does have poisonous barbs on its hind legs.)