This is the best advice you'll ever get.
If someone looks you in the eye and says, "I've got something I need to ask you to do for me, and you're the only person I can ask," RUN!
Here is the translation of this request:
- You're so special that you're the only one I can ask to do this;
- In this case "special "means "stupid," "easy to manipulate," "no backbone" and "no healthy boundaries whatsoever."
You have just been given the biggest red-flag warning possible in a conversation. It is up to you to heed it. Immediately interrupt the person before the insane request can be made. Smile sweetly and say, "Well, if I'm the only person you can ask, you need to know that you can't ask me either."
Do not even let the request be aired. If you cannot stop this on-coming freight train, remember this most important word: NO.
Say it once. Change the subject. They'll find another victim. I promise. They had "only people they could ask" before you came along, and they'll find "only people they can ask" after you don't work out for them.
No. No. And Hell No.
what has she who shall not be named done now?
Posted by: lorianne | February 11, 2008 at 04:11 PM
what has she who shall not be named done now?
Posted by: lorianne | February 11, 2008 at 04:11 PM
You are very perceptive.
She who shall not be named did provide inspiration for this post, but I was already educated (by others) on the red-flag request.
It really is true. If somebody says, "You're the only one I can ask," the answer before the request is made is NO.
Speaking of which, you're the only one I can ask to do something for me. Will send you an e-mail. :)
Posted by: Anne | February 11, 2008 at 04:29 PM