You Have to Pay to Live

Paul has been bugging me to attend Sandler's Goals 2008 workshop, which was this morning. One of the problems with being a freelance writer and working at home is that your work expands to fill all your hours. When you add having aging parents who need visiting, if nothing else, and a child who needs picking up from school and getting driven to lessons, etc., pretty soon there's no time for fun.

I've sort of forgotten what I do to have fun. I think my idea of having fun is to not have anything on my to-do list. Actually, blogging is fun, but it could probably be filed under procrastination, though I am making a little money and intend to make more so let's call it "work that's fun." (Nice!)

Sandler sent a pre-workshop work sheet for me to fill out. You must understand that I have been through three different household dismantlements in the last couple of years as relatives have died or moved into facilities. That's three households worth of stuff that's needed to be sorted through, divided up and given a home. Stuff, stuff and more stuff.

So, when I came to the question on the worksheet that said, "If you found out you only had six months to live, what would you do?" my answer was:

1. Get rid of all my stuff so nobody else would have to;
2. Talk to my good friends -- and to Lily -- about how she can turn to them if she needs a woman to talk to; and,
3. ...... maybe travel or do something fun. Just what is fun?

I clearly need to add some fun in my life. Paul said, "That's pathetic."

Paul is big on goals. And achievement. And rewards. "What you need to do," he said, "is come up with some goals, and when you accomplish them, you get a reward. Like, if I make my sales goals, we'll go to France this summer."

(Forget the part where he didn't ask me where I'd like to go, but that's okay. He used to live in France and hasn't been back in decades, so he's due for a trip and fine, we'll suffer and go to France with you.)

But I'm getting off track. He makes his goal, we go to France.

I like this idea. He asked me what my rewards might be. I'm getting excited. "If I accomplish X," I said, "Then I'll get to buy that little (cheap) TV table I've been looking at. And if I get on a roll and have productive week after week, I might just have a regular Friday afternoon massage."

Paul's face clouds over. "What's the matter?" I ask.

"All those cost money."

And going to France doesn't?

A friend of mines father used to have an expression that is absolutely true: "You have to pay to live." I believe it. Paul doesn't.

We went to the goal's workshop and I did not die. I have my little goals page here all written up and sitting next to my computer. Number 6 is to keep blogging (and make more money, since I have to pay to live). Number 8 is to remember to do one fun thing, just for me, once a week. And number 10 is that I get rewards when I accomplish my goals. I'm not sure that doing Number 8, doing a fun thing, is a goal that justifies a reward in that it is self-rewarding. But all the rest do!

As do the major mini-goals that I'll have to meet in order to achieve the bigger goals.

Do good stuff. Get rewards. Have more fun. 2008 is looking good.

Comments

[Anwyn]

Paul's face clouds over. "What's the matter?" I ask.
"All those cost money."
And going to France doesn't?

Ouch. :(

Do good stuff. Get rewards. Have more fun. 2008 is looking good.

Good for you. Stick to it in the face of ... clouds. :)

[Anwyn]

Ugh. Tried to italicize the quotes. Failed.