We Are Now Out of Hamsters (RIP)

Our last hamster, Oreo Milkshake, died today. Went to sleep and didn't wake up. He looked like Don King. Click to enlarge.

We were going to do our Christmas card with him -- the rest of us wearing Don King wigs. We didn't get that far.

That puts us at only seven pets. Oreo won't be replaced because that was the deal when Lily got her rabbit: if you want a bunny, when Oreo dies, no more hamsters.

Most of our hamsters have had peaceful departures. Or transitions, if I'm going to use hospice-speak. One of the most tragic was one named Princess, a black bear hamster and quite a sweetheart -- and escape artist. Unfortunately, she had kind of a Bluebeard's Castle kind of experience. She got out one night and though she could have had the run of the house, she chose to slip under the one forbidden door. Tiger was in that room -- the only room in the house with a cat in it. The next morning I found four tiny paws neatly left on the floor mat -- and a very contented-looking Tiger. (I didn't tell Lily -- she thinks Princess ran away, which, in a sense, she did.)

The worst was Vanilla Cream, a young male hamster that developed giant tumors. He was a beautiful, friendly hamster who would stand on one foot and spin his wheel with his front paws while we ate supper. Great entertainment. But the tumors.... When they dragged and made it hard to walk, I knew it was time for him to transition. Do you know that a vet will charge you $35.00 to put a $6.00 pet to sleep? I couldn't make the math work on that, so I sought alternatives.

I called my friend who works at the zoo. She consulted the zoo vets and one of them said to tell me to put Vanilla Cream in two Ziploc bags and drive over him. (This is what she does to injured squirrels she finds.) Everything about that horrifies me.

Somebody else suggested the freezer, but I couldn't do that either. (I was afraid he might transition into hibernation, though I think that unlikely. It mainly seemed a slow, cold way to go.)

I really did consider the $35 euthanasia, but that just seemed wrong. Plus I'd never hear the end of it.

So I called my niece, the horse vet, who was out on maternity leave so she didn't have the euthanasia drugs (which are apparently well controlled, especially in horse-sized doses), but she said she had vast experience in quick transitions for lab rats. So, bless her heart, she came over and transitioned him.

I'll be sad not to have hamsters. Then again, after six of them, it's time to move on. Just one of my transitions.

Oreo Milkshake's funeral is this afternoon.

Comments

[groovyoldlady]

Oreao Milkshake looks like my dear departed pet dustbunny, Marvin. Marvin was transitioned into a vacuum cleaner, presumably by accident. It was OK though, he'd had a full life. He sailed in his own boat in the bathtub, starred in his own adventure comic strip and scared away unwanted guests. I'm seriously considering taming a new one, but first I have to catch one. Those wild dustbunnies are rather skittish.

We lost Jackie the gerbil to Emmie the rat terrier. We put Jackie in a check box in the freezer so we could bury him in the Spring. By Spring the amazingly fickle rodent grief was forgotten and so was Jackie. He was in the freezer for THREE YEARS!

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[Angry]

RAN AWAY...!
WITHOUT ITS FEET...?

[Angry]

"Honey, we're out of Hamsters... can you check if we have another box of them in the larder, please?"