Lily says that when she gets to heaven, the first thing she's going to do is eat a stick of butter. I don't know where this comes from. I told her that in the scheme of things, it's okay to eat a stick of butter one time in your life. Go ahead. I bless you.
I went from being a kid who wouldn't eat to being a college student who gained the Freshman Fifteen (plus three) and have beens struggling with my deep and abiding love with food ever since. But only good food. (By that I mean food that tastes good.) You could put me in a room full of raw bell peppers and not a thing would happen.
So I've read all the stuff about how to get your child to eat healthy. And I've tried to practice it. I tell her to stop when she's full, I try not to use sweets as a reward, and we sit down to eat supper as a family and usually have healthy food.
(Note: Paul has a high metabolism. He used to eat ice cream on his cereal and then have ice cream for dessert at night. He eats the whipped cream directly from the squirt can. He does not gain weight and if he does, he loses is by thinking about it. He is a very unsympathetic but otherwise good sort and we fight about The Clean Plate Club for Lily.)
Anyway. Lily is hanging out with friends who often speak about eating healthy. This is a good thing and I am grateful. But somehow, she has made this MY problem. (And since I do the grocery shopping, it pretty much is.)
"Mom, I want to eat healthy breakfasts from now on," she said last week.
"Great," I said. "What would you like?"
"Don't say cereal," she said.
"All right, then how about oatmeal?" I said.
"Don't say oatmeal," she said.
"How about whole wheat pancakes," I offer.
"Will you put chocolate chips in them?" she asked.
"No."
"No thanks, then," Lily said.
"Okay, I give up. What would you like for your healthy breakfast?" I ask.
"I don't know. That's your problem," Lily said. I knew she was half-way joking, which is why I did not slap her into next week though that remains an option.
Lunches are getting more difficult, too. "Mom, don't put any more cookies into my lunch bag, okay? I want just a healthy lunch."
And we go over the thing about what does she want and nothing I offer appeals to her. So I asked, "What do your friends bring for lunch?"
"Peanut butter sandwiches and fruit," she said.
"But you're allergic to peanut butter," I said, like this wasn't her number one fear in the world. Lurking nuts.
"So you'll have to think of something else," she said. Then she winked at me again and said, "It's your problem."
The child wants healthy food and doesn't like it. The apple didn't fall far from the tree on that one. Oh dear.
"How about if I pack you some raw vegetables and a turkey sandwich?"
"You know I can't have raw vegetables because of my braces." And she's sick of turkey. Aren't we all.
So I thought I'd solve my problems this morning. "You get to pack your own lunch today."
Driving to school I asked, "So, what's in your lunch?"
"Two slices of bread and an applesauce."
"That's all carbohydrates. What about some turkey?"
"Why?"
"For protein."
She shrugs.
I am out of ideas. Tomorrow morning I'm going to pack her lunch with one item: a stick of butter.
But then, I'm out of options for the next day.
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