What's all this snarkiness I hear about Mom Jeans? I'm taking this personally.
I'm a mom. I wear jeans. The jeans I wear are Mom Jeans. I thought I looked good in them. I thought they were age appropriate. And after all, if I'm a mom, Just Why Shouldn't I Wear Mom Jeans?
And if I'm supposed to wear other kinds of jeans, just why don't they fit? I'm told I should wear boot-cut jeans. Do they expect me to wear boots, too? Things with heels, with jeans? Do you think I was born yesterday?
I have mom feet. Mom feet do not like shoes with heels. The worst thing that pregnancy did to my body was stretch out my feet.
And nobody warned me about this either! I could get into my pre-pregnancy clothes (at least the maternity clothes) for a brief while, but I could never wear my pre-pregnancy shoes again.
So now they're talking bad about my Mom Jeans, they want me to wear boot-cut jeans and some kind of flattering heel, and they expect me to go along with this plan?
I have tried on various non-Mom Jeans in the stores. They are not my friends. If you think my Mom Jeans make my butt look big, you ought to see the alternative!
I'd love to be fashionable and look 26. At one time I was fashionable and 26, and a whole bunch of other numbers. Then something even better happened. Lily.
I'm frankly happy I can zip up my Mom Jeans. I'm really happy in my Dansko clogs. You go wear your non-Mom Jeans and you're crippling healed boots. I'll be jealous that you look so smashing, but I know deep down, and so do you, that those shoes/boots HURT. But one day those chic jeans be out of style, and then you won't be any better off than me in my Mom Jeans.
Fashion don't last. Big butts do.
Comments