Paul drops off Lily at school in the morning on his way to work. This morning was yet another switch in the carpool line. It was such a mess that Paul decided in desperation that he should stop on the road so that Lily could hop out onto the sidewalk and run across the school grounds. Lily was afraid some one would honk at her, which would of course make her wither and die. I can hear her thoughts, "My dorky dad stopped on the street so somebody honked at us and EVERYBODY saw I was with him...."
So, Paul stopped. And the guy behind him honked. Not once. Not twice. But a whole bunch. Paul was about to make an obscene gesture but had the rare good sense not to.
Thank goodness! The honker was our soon-to-be former minister. He drove up beside Paul, rolled down his window, and said, "We miss you already. Lots."
We miss our soon-to-be-former church, too. I never thought we would leave there. I want to be buried in the church memorial garden wall. Paul and I joined together, before we were married. We were married there. Lily was baptized there. They loved us and held us together through bad times. through pain and doubt and miscarriages and lay-offs. I had a difficult pregnancy, and when Lily was happily delivered alive and healthy and ready for life, one of the ministers I was very close to was at my side, smiling and filled with joy, before I was even off of the delivery table.
When I was admitted to the ER for other reasons, the minister who honked at Paul this morning was there beside me almost before the doctor. He told me words I will never forget, words that keep me going when there doesn't seem a reason to put one foot in front of the other.
We tried to give back, too. Both Paul and I served as Deacons (never the same years). We taught Sunday school, led small groups, tried to help out when we were called and led. What a joy and comfort to be a part of such a church family.
So why are we leaving?
Lily, of course. She is twelve. We have her for six more years at home. Six more years to put her in the right path. She doesn't feel connected to our soon-to-be-former church. There are many reasons and you can probably guess them. Basically, the kids her age aren't as nice as their parents. There's even the bully from school that I could write about at length, but I won't.
So, we have found a better place for her. A church where the kids are welcoming and she's made friends. She's even become best friends with the pastor's daughter (actually, her friend is the daughter of TWO Presbyterian ministers -- her mother and father. A double PK -- preacher's kid). We have spent the summer going there, and it's clearly where we are supposed to be. Lily even cares what she looks like when she gets dressed for church, and will go to youth events without being beaten, or at least not being beaten hard. (Just kidding.)
I long for our home church, for the place I never wanted to leave. But I can see already how God is at work in this new place. Maybe if I'll get over my despair about changing, he'll even find a way to use me there.
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